Not so important
by Kotorine
Summary: It's a very angsty fic, from Serena's point of view after Darrien breaks up with. Just give it a go what can it hurt?


Not so Important

By Kotorine

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She stood at the edge of the road. This was where Darrien had been found as an orphan, his parent's car had swerved off the road and out into the ocean. The endless ocean. 

She stood leaning against the railings, placed to warn cars driving in the night of the sharp corner in the road. If someone wasn't careful they could freefall over the edge onto the rocks below. 

She stood watching the waves. Sometimes they just flowed over the rocks, immersing them in water, other times they crashed violently sending cold white spray up against the cliff side, before falling back down into the endless ocean only to be lost once again. It was incredibly calming watching its continuous pattern. Ami would appreciate this sight.

Slowly she climbed over the railings and onto the half meter of crumbling earth that separated her from the never-ending ocean. She clung to the railing as she stared at the water in amazement. It was beautiful, it mesmerized her. Even though her life would end today as others had done before her on this very spot, the ocean was infinite, ever changing ever flowing. Like life, like time. She had always felt sympathy towards Pluto, always watching never being a part of real life. She must go on no matter what plagued her existence, no matter what she saw, regardless of what was to come. 

She raised her eyes to see the expanse of it all. One drop in this ocean would never, could never change the tide. Just as one person could never, would never change the world. No one could annihilate violence, anger, evil and death. There would always be the warriors of truth and justice no matter what name they fought under. There would always be the victims no matter where they travelled. There would always be evil no matter what form it took. 

The sun was sinking behind horizon, casting a spectrum of oranges, pinks and reds over the crystal water. Stretching out her arms like a bird she shut her eyes and breathed deep. Smiling slightly as she felt the disappearing sun heat her face while standing on her tiptoes. Staring at the darkness behind her eyelids, she slowly blocked out the feeling of her feet touching the ground and focussed on the touch of the slight breeze in her hair. She was floating on air, not feeling, not breathing just existing. 

That was a lie. 

Always there was pain, and betrayal, a backdrop to life shadowing happiness and love. No one understood even when they claimed they did, no one really knew or they wouldn't expect her to carry on living this half existence. 

The roar of the ocean filled her ears, as constant as silence, and comforting as a lovers touch. Promising to never let her go once she fell into its icy depths, promising to give her peace.    

A love had lasted a millennium, spanned the centuries, passed through death, and been destroyed in a matter of 2 words. Had she been foolish to believe his promises of love from a thousand years ago? It seemed so now. Maybe their love had been nothing more than a distant fairy tale, belonging to another lifetime. Maybe he had seen it as a way to cling to happier times. She knew that Darien had grown up alone with no family…so maybe he saw this as a grasp on a life when he had the very things he yearned for in this lifetime. She couldn't see it that way. To her it had been as real and as tangible as ice before it melted into water.

She had sometimes wondered if it would have been better if she had never been found by Luna and had stayed oblivious to her destiny of defending the earth as Sailor Moon and being the Moon Princess. How could one person save the fate of the world when she couldn't even save herself? She had often wondered if Ami, Lita, Mina would have ever moved to Juban district, and if any of their paths would have ever crossed. Maybe in her next life she might meet them again, and they could forge bonds as close as they did here, but she doubted they would. Watching and protecting someone with your life almost every day was a bond hard to beat. She opened her eyes and blinked rapidly to clear her vision. Why couldn't anyone help her? She just wanted this all to end, every day was a cycle of pain and death seemed nothing but a relief. 

She sat down on the wall, dangling her feet and watched her last sunset, gazing upon the oranges and pinks as they finally gave way to black night. 

She once again stood stretched her arms out and held her head high, before letting herself freefall into the murky water. As she tumbled she prayed for release and laughed at what they were losing. Anger had risen as quickly as she fell. 

They would be sorry. 

She plummeted into the water and gasped at the coldness. Her eyes opened and watched the surface drift further and further away from her. Sinking deeper and deeper as the darkness surrounded her. She could feel the pressure of water building. As the light disappeared completely she felt the urge to open her mouth for air. The need quickly rose, her body demanding oxygen as cells started dieing as her heart already had. Panic materialized within her, rising quickly with the need for air. She reached her arms up to the surface in a vain attempt to reach the air. 

Pain. 

Fear.

Help me someone please help me…

I want to live. 

Please…

I want to live….

I'm sorry.

I want to live…

I got it wrong 

I want to live.

She opened her mouth dragging in water instead of precious air. 

No one came, as she sank further and further away from life, no almighty angel of heaven came to help. Maybe, she thought in the last seconds, maybe destiny wasn't as important as everyone had thought. 

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Thanks for reading it all. I really hope u enjoyed it. my email wasn't working until today so feel free to now email me and tell me wat u thought, I'd really love that. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (and I promised myself I wudnt beg)

- Kotorine


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